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Dork Alliance

I know that Mike is playing Dark Alliance over on the PS5, and instantiating cats. I downloaded it on PC through Game Pass, which unfortunately doesn't have crossplay with Playstation like it does with the Xbox version. I'm playing as Catti-brie and the archery is a little weird, plus it always sorta feels like I'm walking through knee-high maple syrup. That's not really a review but it's what I know so far.

Sweet Baby James

I played the first Dark Alliance games approximately one billion years ago on the Xbox; I recall very specifically that I played the second one on my computer monitor, because it was a co-op game and computer desks aren't really set up to have a second person at them so it was kind of a pain in the ass. I had Neoya's X2VGA adapter and, like, multimonitor switchbox and shit. It was nice to have a full res picture but the main reason it was in there was because Crimson Skies was always saying that this person or that person Had The Booty, over and over, and Brenna decided that hearing this phrase with such frequency had not improved her life.

Constant Contact

The dynamics of my relationship with USA Gundam Store are exactly like ordinary relationship dynamics. I literally get pics. I signed up for it, I'm not mad and I can get out whenever I want, but there's a level of increasingly cyberpunk intensity when I'm getting texts, and mails, and these texts and mails are informing the ads I see on literally every website.

PAX Stuff

By Gabe – June 18, 2021

As PAX returns to real life venues I want to announce that I am actually retiring from real life venues. That is to say, I’m no longer going to be attending the US shows. It’s possible you might see me with my family at some future PAX but every show every year is just no longer doable for me. Like a lot of people the recent life pause has given me some perspective and I’m changing my routine coming out of this pandemic. 

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PA League Race!

After a couple weeks off I am back in the driver’s seat tonight for another Penny Arcade League race! We are all heading to Watkins Glen for a multi class race that will once again see me driving the slowest car on the track, the Mazda MX-5. There will also be more Stream Racer shenanigans this evening before and after the show. No need to download anything, just login and type !boost in the chat to give your car the goose juice! 

Avatar I Guess idk

As a spectacle, as a meticulously engineered media experience lensed through the twin magnifications of IMAX and 3D, James Cameron's Avatar is absolutely - I am confident in saying this - a film. It didn't really stick with me. I was at Disney World a couple years back, and they had a whole fuckin' Avatar, like… zone, and I was surprised. Like The Matrix, I think it provided a tool to get at some existential concepts a youth informed William Gibson had already formatted me for.  Ubisoft is now doing a second Avatar game - oh? You don't remember the first? I'm not a hundred percent sure what we're supposed to glean from the trailer, other than the idea that butterfly lizards apparently beat attack helicopters in whatever enigmatic version of Rock Paper Scissors they play in the future. The best we can hope for at this point is Appa DLC.

A Thousand Scripts

Loki is like Wandavision in that it's a kind of puzzle, which is the sort of show I like best. It's also the most optimized use of Disney+ as a platform, because now the hook is set and I sorta have to stick around to find out what this shit is about now. I go hog-ass fucking wild for a Primer, or a Memento. Or even a regular Mento. I should buy some Mentos.

He-Mania

I genuinely don't know a lot about He-Man, although my friend Damon had a Battle Armor He-Man whose inner workings perpetually mystified me. You could strike the breastplate, and every time it would reveal a progressively more damaged version until it was perfect again. What a terrifying foe. Strike your enemy dead in the chest three times to… perfect him? I'm not fucking fighting this guy. That explains the raft of robots, weird snake guys, and bipedal insects he's has to contend with. He's almost certainly murdered everyone else, except for the one guy whose face is already a skull.

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Our Tender Jarls

The main thing you have to know about streaming platforms is that their dynamics are such that it's too rich for Microsoft's blood. Microsoft. After squeezing to the tune of millions and millions of dollars, they determined that the volume and quality of the juice hadn't been worth it. Which is too bad, because it was… kinda good. The latency was really low; it felt like you could have real conversations with chat almost. It had a built-in studio you could use to manufacture cool interactions for your channel.

Nuance

You mighta seen the story - maybe you didn't? I don't feel like we've exaggerated the arc really in any way. This is more or less what happened! They definitely activated social; I bet shares were through the roof. I suspect that sometimes, very rarely, there is a such a thing as bad press.

It's Actually Cool

I would say that a weird amount of the games I get truly obsessed with come from Scandinavian countries. Or, Nordic countries. Either the usage changed, or it's regional in nature. In any case, I trust in their intrepid spirit and proven capacity to get my Vacuum Battle Royale game off the ground. Get in touch. And I know you're wondering - Vacuum Battle Royale? How would that work? Here's the secret: the carpets are dirtier than usual.  And the house is very large.

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Pluck

By Tycho – May 31, 2021

I think we can say with some degree of certainty that Twitter has systematically elevated fringe positions and granted sociopaths - whose feeding grounds have typically been constrained by natural factors - a global remit. This barely constitutes an "observation." It's a fairly simple transform executed on the absolute edges of the signal, what these instruments are painstakingly designed to do, and we get to live in the chasm that has opened between them. Imagine if a sore could have sores. It's a hellscape that gleefully commingles Dante's Inferno and a high school cafeteria.

The Original Series

As I type this, I have a box behind me that is itself filled with smaller boxes. Inside each of these boxes is a tiny plastic person, or some festoon of their war raiment, all of which rest atomized on the sprue as they await their manufacture. I invest my Tuesdays on Gabe's Gunpla stream, where I think it can be reasonably said he is putting our entire streaming operation at risk. Just look at this filth:

1 Year of the PA League

Today marks the one year anniversary of the Penny Arcade iRacing league! It’s important to note here at the one year mark that this could not have happened without the hard work of the league admins who have been organizing all the races and managing the league Discord. I honestly just get to show up and have fun because of their hard work. So I’d like to give a big thank you from Mike Racecar, all the drivers and the entire Pit Crew to Skiggity, BeastGP, Draxond and Brainling for making it all happen. We are still accepting new drivers just look us up in the iRacing league directory. I've seen a bunch of new faces on the track and in the Pit Crew recently which is awesome. It's not too late to get in on the action!

Oops All Tigs

Army of the Dead is an eighties homage through and through, and redeploys large portions of Aliens without even filing off the serials. It's exactly what I expected, except in the moments it surprised me, but I think my expectations for (and let's go down the list)