So, now that Cyberpunk 2077 has reached its nadir - with everyone offering refunds, getting delisted from the Playstation store, CD Projekt's stock price in the shitter, and investors considering a class action lawsuit - it seems like a good time to talk about the things I liked about the game. Purely just as a chance of pace.
Tentative
Gabriel saw Tenet, or TENET, or whichever one is the correct one, but it sorta seems like it was the same as not seeing it...? Maybe it was like seeing it in reverse, or "unseeing" it. Powerful, if true. Its director is angry that there is a pandemic and it changed some of the business assumptions that were thought of as material truths. I understand how it must feel. But I also think this shift has been en route for some time, and this is just us seeing those forces at work, as though visible through a faultline.
Race Night!
Thursday night is race night and the Penny Arcade iRacing league will be hitting the oval this evening. I did the practice race last night and had a pretty rough go of it. These cars are tuned super loose and it's very easy to lose it on the turns. By the end of the practice race I felt a little more comfortable behind the wheel but I'm super nervous about tonight. These oval races tend to be action packed. I'll be opening up the Pit Crew at 7:30PT to start with some more practice before the race actually starts. See you tonight!
Dreamcast
Chris Pine might be "attached," I assume by a length of chain or rope, to the Dungeons & Dragons film. As for the strip, obviously no. But! If you've ever seen him with his hairs mowed real close to the ground he's basically there. A movie that is essentially a fantasy heist film, like the sort of shit we get up to at the table anyway, maps the concepts we like onto a structure that's perceptible by humans broadly. That's the sort of thing you could actually get made, it seems like. Also: read The Black Company. Consider this my annual request.
M.U.M.
I don't remember the last time a developer came out publicly and offered refunds for a game at this level of expectation - one that hadn't been out for a week. I don't know if that's because it's exceedingly rare or if it's because it's never happened before.
The Lie Factory
Monster Train shares a lot of dynamics with Slay The Spire, a game I think it's fair to say will go down in, you know, the… game scrolls or whatever as a pinnacle achievement. God only knows how many hours have been eaten by this game? Before Coronaworld, Ryan and I would played STS (as it is known by rough and worldly youths) in beta and release for over a year and never got tired of it. And that was before I started spelunking its Steam Workshop, a septic fuckhouse where every twisted mechanical fantasy was made flesh.
The God Lords
I have coming up on fifty hours of Minion Masters, which may not seem like much - as I understand it, there are much larger numbers - but when you take into account the fact that a round of the game takes a few minutes at most, it's an incredible amount of play density. It's a deckbuilding strategy game similar to Clash Royale, except where Clash Royale maintains the MOBA concept of Towers, you're essentially going face with every unit you send over - hindered only by the units you've placed in their way. I'm back now after a long hiatus, and I expected to get fucking trashed, but (at least here in the genteel Platinum rank) it's still possible to play your way out of serious jams.
Home Theater
One of the best parts about PAX Aus for me is that there is a crazypants movie theater right next door to the venue where the show is held, a place with the deeply Aussie appellation Jeff's Shed. It exists in an array of theaters, actually, executed in a spectrum of fancitude. Some resembled the theaters you know. Some are the kind where you basically have fucking recliners and shit plus a button that will indicate to the proprietors that you are not drunk yet and it's a situation you'd like to resolve in the near term.
Child's Play Auction
The Child's Play auction is this Thursday Dec. 10th! They've just added all of the silent auction items to the website so you can start browsing today. Keep in mind that if you want to bid come Thursday, you will need to purchase a ticket to the auction. There will also be a live auction portion of the evening hosted by none other than Interweb celebs Kate Welch and Kris Straub! I've offered up a few items this year that will be a part of this section of the show. Three of my original acrylic paintings as well as an original color illustration by me of your D&D character. So head over to the site and check out the silent auction items and then buy yourself a ticket for the event this Thursday!
Perf
When they want to craft another ambiguous Xbox platform, they should consider the nomenclature we deploy in today's strip - although from the sounds of it, there's just some performance weirdness generally on the new equipment. It's not a hundred percent clear depending on the game what's going on sometimes with the new hardware, and I have a ton of questions about it, because on paper these the new flagship systems are the sort of dragons you might find casually gnawing on the roots of Yggdrasil. I can't stress enough: I would have used that reference even if we weren't talking about the new AC.
New racing season!
Join us tonight for the first race of the new season! After a week off, the Penny Arcade iRacing league is back at it. The Pit Crew will open at 7:30 PT
The Baffled King
Among its other virtues, Leonard Cohen's famous song is a masterclass on how to rhyme things with hallelujah. You might not think you need to know that kind of stuff, but you never know. Could be a manticore type deal, spectral bride situation kinda thing. Knowledge is power.
Feature Rich
I don't even get exposed to these powerful features, because as a rule I don't join open chats, and haven't since the first parties were introduced on 360. Arguably, we used GameVoice even longer ago to inoculate ourselves from that seeping realm. There was a very brief time at the outset of Xbox Live where people were sorta cool about shit. There was the sense that we had emerged from a darker place into a lighter one, and like so many crawdads stunned by a tween's flashlight, we were mostly just shocked that it worked and thus lacked the wherewithal to fully abuse one another. This idyllic state lasted - if I recall correctly - ten or so full minutes.
Highwaymen
The "new console" I'm after is a 3080, but regardless of which one of these devices you want, you can't really buy it. The only way to get one of these things is to have one sent to you, or to hurl yourself upon the resale market to the tune of (last I checked) about eighteen hundred bucks. That appears to be something like a stable price for the device, having seen it many times, and it's a multiple of six which indicates - to me at least - the involvement of The Beast.
Unready
We talked about it a little bit when the movie for Ready Player One came out in the post and the strip. My policy on Nostalgia is the same as the laws sweeping the nation and perhaps the world - I think it should be legal for responsible, recreational use. If used in a work, optimally it's used in a way that interprets or transforms so that we get more work to interpret or transform. I adhere to the sourdough starter principle where such things are concerned.
Kind Words
Kind Words is not new by any means, I got it a super long time ago - I think even before it was on Steam, though I could be remembering that wrong? For some reason I remember - as one does - unzipping a file into a folder and clicking on something inside there.