There's really no trick: Endless Ocean is a game about swimming forever. It's not a game for our people, and it need not be plugged into the apparatus. You swim and swim and swim. Sometimes you pet penguins on the deck, or talk to a hydrophobe that you know. You can even dive cooperatively online, which is, like, Finally.

The writing process for today's comic was recorded in its entirety, and we have uploaded this harrowing process as a podcast.  If these 'casts are something you enjoy, you can probably get them earlier than the official announcements by subscribing to our ridiculously convenient feed. 

(CW)TB
 

There are those who find something to love in the character of Div, persons who feel that our strip needs more drunken, mechanical bigot. His origin as a disgruntled Divx player is most likely lost to time, particularly since Divx means something very different now.

A while back we had a run in with a local radio host. The whole story isn't worth re-telling but the end result was that you all started contacting the shows advertisers. That got me a late night phone call from the station director. This guy was fucking livid, he told me he was going to sue and blah blah blah. I realized from that whole thing that attacking these radio guys directly is worthless. Attacking someone like Kevin just gives him material for his show and his handful of listeners. Now attacking his advertisers, that would actually piss him off.

I was ready to suggest that if you really wanted to hurt this guy you should contact his sponsors. That was until I started looking for his sponsors. It turns out he's only on two stations and they are both Christian stations. They only had six or seven sponsors at most and they were almost all churches or local mortgage companies. You really can't contact his sponsors because the guy just doesn't have any. The biggest thing he seems to be involved in is the Townhall.com site. He's one of a hundred or so columnists there but really that's just like Blogspot for nut jobs. I really didn't understand just how right we were with this comic until I started doing more research on him. This guy is a nobody. This blow up with gamers is the most attention he's ever had, and is ever likely to get.

-Gabe out

On Monday, I mentioned an article by the irrelevant Kevin McCullough entitled "The 'Sex-Box' Race For President," a poorly titled, poorly sourced, and generally just poor piece of journalism. As the game has now been available for months without attracting his attention, I can only assume that his flailing response was based on this other report, itself already far removed from Mass Effect, the game which is ostensibly being described.

Gabe had to watch the other Gabe today, so we made the comic a day in advance.  It's about the guy who wrote that ridiculous Mass Effect article.  We decided to put it up a day early because, just as we predicted in the strip, he's taken a swipe at gamers.  The young man quoted in his piece did not represent our community well, but locking horns with a professional liar would bring out the worst in anyone. 

(CW)TB
 

I don't know if I would attend CES again. If any of you have wondered, as I did last year, whether or not you should go, ask yourself this:

This podcast covers the writing process for today's comic (and a number of other tangents).  Of course, it's entirely possible you had already subscribed to the feed and are currently listening to it.  In which case, I apologize profusely.   

(CW)TB
 

We should have a podcast for you later today that goes into the process behind this strip, but the inspiration is probably well known: the tawdry rutting of franchises that leads to medieval swordspersons fighting teenaged elves and starborne Jedi masters.

It wasn't until the strip was completed that I realized we had written two comic strips at the same time. Gabriel thought this comic was literal, and I thought it was about miscommunication.  At least, I hoped it was.  This is a fantasy to which I still cling.

We have two new shirts up in the store today. The first is our Rock Band design. Tycho says it is a shirt that symbolizes "the indomitable spirit which flows when people act as conduits for rock music." I think it looks pretty cool too. This one is also available in Baby Doll for the ladies.

An actual conversation, transcribed with precision, and then converted into comic form.  It's a comic that required a tremendous amount of research, but we take our responsibility to you very seriously.  Indeed, the strength of this dedication gets us in trouble sometimes.

Some of you have probably already heard it, since I put it up yesterday - but we're trying new hosting for the podcast, and I wanted to make sure everything made sense before I dropped it on the front page.  The podcast is for Wednesday's strip, "The Ungift, Part Two."  You can download it here, or subscribe to the feed here.  The levels are a little crazy in a couple spots, for which I apologize.  I think we've got those ironed out, now. 

(CW)TB

The Penny Arcade Battle Academy Will be meeting next Tuesday the 8th at the Comic Stop. We're an official Pokemon TCG league now. Those of you in the Academy who haven't done so already, should register with Go Pokemon.com. Once you have a POP ID you can post it in this thread and Joe will get you added to the roster. As always, new players are welcome. Just grab a starter deck and be at the Comic Stop around 6.PM. There will be plenty of people willing to walk you through the game if it's your first time. For our regulars, if you're looking for a place up north to get cards and boosters I highly recommend the Cardhaus in Lynnwood. He's got some singles in stock but he also has the best price on boosters I've been able to find. Also, Kiko and I picked up some great tips and a few interesting rules that we did not know about while at the tournament. We'll share our "key learnings" with you all on Tuesday. It should be a fun night, hope to see some new faces.

-Gabe out

Orcs and Elves for the DS has a fairly strong mobile heritage, which is to say that some of its presentation is a little two-frame and raw. If you crave gold and adventure - a common affliction among our people - I think you'll slip past it, and into the retro dungeon crawler at its heart. It's been reviewed much better on the mobiles than it has been on the portable, but I imagine that people who review games that you play on a phone have a more forgiving palette.

I've gone through all the Dickerdoodle pictures I received and I've got some good ones to share. It was too hard to pick just one winner so I ended up picking a top three and they will all get a brand new Nintendo DS.

First let's start with the runners up though.


This mans fervor is impressive.




I know I didn't ask for vagaina cookies but come on, that's awesome.




The "Barbra Walters" filter on this one makes it look so classy.




Is cookie porn a real thing?




He just seems so Innocent. Like maybe this is his first dickerdoodle.



See! Size really doesn't matter.



Sadly he choked to death shortly after this picture was taken.



She's ambitious and I respect that.



I'm pretty sure this was actually their Christmas card.




Alright now on to the winners. Remember each of these chefs will receive their very own Nintendo DS.

-3rd Place -

These guys win for sheer size. That's just a lot of Dickerdoodle.



-2nd Place-

This one is just awesome. The presentation alone is great but then you start seeing little details like the penis reference photos.



-1st Place-

I fucking love this photo. We can tell by her shirt that her dad has forced into helping make these cookies. We can also tell that she is not amused. His expression is actually unreadable. Is he confused? Is he angry? I have no idea what he's thinking but it's priceless. I also love that with some extra dough he made the Quake symbol. So rad.



Thanks to everyone who entered. I hope you all enjoyed your Dickerdoodles. Winners, I'll be getting in touch with you so I can get your info for the prizes.

-Gabe out