I called an Apple Store, just for kicks, to see how things were going during the launch, and if he thought they might have any phones ever. He described the line to me, the one outside of his store, as something like a human Möbius strip - a warping tendril folded in, a thing without earthly end.

So yeah...how about those poop jokes. I guess at the very least it is not unprecedented.

This was an authentic series of text messages sent to me by Gabriel. I would take a picture of it, but I would have to use my own phone to do so, which would sunder the universe. Rest assured that such communiques are not uncommon, and that taken in aggregate they present a wholly unified Aesthetics of Shit.

Kinect, being an onyx lozenge bristling with a combination of sensing "eyes" and licking "beams," has an inherent Fear Quotient (FQ). It generates a base amount of human terror simply by being plugged in. And after as little as twenty minutes spent observing human targets, test units are (reportedly) resting in puddles of acrid, burning saliva.

How is possible that I'd never played Words With Friends?

I am drawing today's comic right now. You can watch if you want.

Just as in years past, we submit a distillation of the Big Three Briefings.

I just wanted to drop a reminder that I have collected a bunch of my D&D posts on one page. You can also grab my adventure "Dusk" there. This was my first attempt at taking my notes for an adventure and trying to turn them into something another DM could take and run with. So far I've had 14,145 people download the adventure which I am super happy about. What I don't know for sure is if they actually played it and had fun. So if you grabbed "Dusk" and gave it a try please shoot me a mail and let me know how it went. I'd like to do more of these but first I want to get some feedback.

I feel bad for the models that work expo halls. Maybe it's better than other kinds of day work, I wouldn't know. I try to avoid making eye contact, on the off chance it's as weird for them as it is for me. It's not their humanity that drives me away, though it's rare to see a person who wouldn't be improved with a few tufts of iridescent plumage. No, it's that I have the run-of-the-mill, God given shame that naturally accompanies interactions with women who are being paid to endure me.

The "Mortal Kombat Rebirth" short exists in that continuum that appends gravitas to fundamentally ridiculous subject matter by attempting to reconcile it with the real world. That's something I do as a form of recreation; I'm not trying to say that this isn't a good time investment. Alan Moore takes cultural shrapnel and transforms it, via a similar process, into material that assaults the mind. I'm just not certain that every brand can withstand this kind of analysis.

Over drinks with some of the staff last night, they wanted to make sure I knew about some incredible auctions the group had put together.  Such is the scale of Child's Play, now, that it's almost impossible for me to know everything in real time, ands its scope extends well beyond the main drive.  Anyhow, there's a number of really amazing things still available - browse, and be delighted.

We were trying to imagine what it looks like backstage when there is a Technology Problem - capital T, capital P - during an iPhone announcement. We don't think it matters who you are, or if you are responsible for the problem, if you just now got there, or even if you work for Apple. It is core to our assertion that in the unassuming frame of Steve Jobs there roils a dark power, and that there are moments when this malevolent force must find release.

While I was feeding the baby this morning at five a.m. I had an idea. What if Coruscant had a newspaper? What would their stupid political cartoons look like?

I have collected all my D&D posts in one place. I've also uploaded my D&D adventure Dusk to the same site. You can check out all my old posts and download the PDF for Dusk right here.

In the manner of today's hottest reality programs, I need to inform you that the story you are about to read is entirely true. Historically in cases such as this the names have been changed to protect the innocent. In this case, the names have been retained specifically to amplify their shame.

We've got a new episode of Penny Arcade: The Series up today, about Dungeons & Dragons. It touches on a number of themes appropriate to that topic.