This really happened! There is an even dorkier version of Warhammer 40k, one where you reenact historical battles in the setting. Yeah. Now: are these "historical" battles also, technically, set in the future? Yeah. I don't know what to tell you. Anyway, he bought a sack of grey dolls from a man he doesn't entirely know using cash. That's the "How It's Going" panel in the meme that catalogs the gravity of his descent.

I am writing this post and putting it into the system ahead of time because I am literally too dumb to understand what is about to happen with these flights and time and so forth. I know the strip is about Kill Team, but only because I put it in the database already. The backend and its precious numbers are like a buoy I am desperately clinging to.

The Warhammer Community Team sent me the amazing new Black Templar mini, Bayard’s Revenge! I got it a couple weeks ago and spent more time painting it than any other mini I’ve worked on. I’m not a pro or anything but I’m still very proud of how this model came out!

I'm not currently in a position to know what's going on with Overwatch 2. I heard that people are mad; unfortunately there are a few different things they might be mad at. Plus, everyone is mad all the time. I even read that some people were confused about how much the game would cost, when it's… I mean, it's free. It's a freemium thing. It was already being monetized like a freemium game, a fact you can verify with any friend who tried to collect all of an event's skins, and now they've simply closed the loop.

Star Wars, like Marvel, is well out of the free pass zone and well into the wait and see zone. I've been instructed well by the D+ cadence, which is to say that you really, really have to wait for the episode after the ones they release initially. You have to see the middle of these shows to know. After four of these, I think we can call it: Andor is completely unlike their other efforts. Someone appears to have thought the entire thing through.

I remember back when Gabriel's most tender realms tried to manifest themselves here, in The World. I didn't see him for a while. I do often think about the first part there, where his shit was trying to get out, but he didn't know what was happening. That seems quite unpleasant. And this was immediately after having the flu, then having food poisoning. My own form, lumpen and greased with sebum though it may be, doesn't do that. It punched in like forty years ago and just does its business. My suspicion is that all the bills - for my wickedness, for my sloth, and for an pronounced "Wastrel Era" - will all just come due at once.

The folks at Logitech sent me a very nice package recently that included their brand new Pro Racing wheel and Pro Racing Pedals. I’ve only had a little bit of time to play with them both and tonight’s Penny Arcade League race will be the first time I use them in an actual event. 

Cyberpunk Edgerunners is incredibly good. This cartoon is how I wanted the game to feel, and sometimes the game does feel that way, but mostly what the show is going to do for you is establish how much more the game could have been.

Because I was getting wild, looking up the latest world ending apocalypses on Twitch for the last post, now my phone thinks I give a shit that this incomprehensibly rich motherfucker doesn't like some other incomprehensibly rich motherfucker. When you watch Twitch, you're watching the cameras installed at some kind of psychotic daycare. You see videos sometimes where streamers are trying to finally manufacture some kind of work-life balance at incredible personal cost, and the only thing that distinguishes them from traditional hostage videos is the nice camera. It doesn't seem like a nice place or even a good job.

Strips about Grub's birthday are probably the most robust subcategory of Penny Arcade content, just edging out the occasional ostrich or giraffe. There are lots and lots. And now we have offered up another one, which Gabriel has embroidered with something akin to birthday lore - we can see the traditional Czech garb for Gabrílstrana, the customary trout holstered and at the ready. Happy Birthday, man. As a present, you can paint any really big, setpiece miniature of mine that you want up to the "Parade ready" standard. It's my treat! Oh, and thanks for my whole career and stuff. I genuinely appreciate it.

Maybe such things "hit different" when you are also a maker of things. Most of our stuff is delivered hot and fresh, as though from the back of a truck, so the idea that we could have worked on something for years and years and not have released it doesn't map fully onto the GTA leaks. I wouldn't even work on something with that long a lead time; it's completely outside my nature. I hate the things I make almost immediately after I've finished them! Frankly, I think the sentence before this one could use some fuckin' work. I would begin hating whatever I was working on a week or so in and then I'd have to work on it for four more years.

This incarnation of G4 is the brainchild of some princely Comcast scion, whose Overwatch team was probably supposed to benefit from it in some way - even though the link from the Comcast Spectacor site to their own team is busted. I'm heartbroken for anybody who loses their job to this thing, especially right now. Even companies with virtually unlimited money are cutting staff, which makes me think things must be worse than I already thought they were. Just as a reference: I thought they were pretty fuckin' bad. But there's structural aspects to how modern media functions that make a play like this quite difficult.

I tried to play one of these games a long time ago - these farming games - I think it was one of the old Harvest Moons. One of my chickens got sick, more or less during the introduction to the game. They were probably trying to teach me about how medicine worked or something. The chicken fucking died. I was wounded deeper than I could have imagined by the death of this imaginary chicken, and I never played it again.

What are we supposed to make of Starbucks Odyssey, a metastasized version of their rewards program? Let's have Howard Something Something tell us directly:

"We believe this new digital Web3-enabled initiative will allow us to build on the current Starbucks Rewards engagement model with its powerful spend-to-earn Stars approach while also introducing new methods of emotionally engaging customers, expanding our digital third place community, and offering a broader set of rewards, including one-of-a-kind experiences that you can't get anywhere else, integrating our digital Starbucks Rewards ecosystem with Starbucks-branded digital collectibles as both a reward and a community building element."

Eugh. Now, he didn't say NFTs, because he's not dumb. But they're NFTs.

Kris "Krasp" Straub is back at the tiller again, for another peek into a dimension where Penny Arcade consists of two Tychos. No way in Hell is Mike letting me get away with a punchline like that. Ain't fuckin' happening.

I want to thank Local 58's own Kris Straub for taking over Art duties today. Gabe has been more careful than anyone I know, he's still retained many talismanic practices I have softened on, at least in my own neighborhood - but one of the ways your world is trash is that kids at school will bully you if you wear a mask until you take it off and get COVID. And then your dad takes care of you, and he gets it. At home! At fucking home. In the end, he got it at home. When I talked with him before it really took hold, he suggested the call had come from inside the house.