I installed The Witcher 2 on the PC we have in the office here so that Gabriel could see with his own eyes some of the things I’ve been telling him about. While I was home this morning teaching my daughter which berries are to be avoided, he was here playing through the game’s nominal “tutorial,” a sequence of retrospective vignettes that can be played in any order. When I got in, he told me that he had died twelve times at the same spot and then quit. I knew the spot he was taking about; I’d died there myself.

If you wear shoes and you like Penny Arcade then you are the target demographic for our new product. The Penny Arcade shoe is a shoe that you can wear on your feet, but beyond that it is also a shoe that has Penny Arcade stuff on it.

What happens with Kickstarter typically is that a person will have an idea for a new wrist-strap or a proto-scarf or an Indie RPG port or even an all-video extravaganza. Because of how dumb the world is, there are barriers to the completion of these crucial scarves - and this site allows for people to aggregate enthusiasm in such a way as to make them possible.

What "topping" means in a sexual context.  Feel free to consider my knowledge of kink terminology "robust," if not "encyclopedic." 

Part Two of our Bungie Rematch EX Ultra Hyper Edition can be found here.

We were way too late for planking, didn’t have a chance to get in on that pastime, but fear not. We’ve got a head-start on the next thing.

I’m sure that many of you are familiar with the exploits of our friends Kris and Scott. Their individual comics are decent, their Blamimations are a huge hit on PATV, and their appearances on our show have always been well received. Recently they got it into their heads that rather than being bit players in our show they should be the stars of their own. They spoke with Vantage Point the camera crew that has been filming season 2 of Penny Arcade: The Series and together they hatched a plan for “Kris and Scott’s Scott and Kris show”.

The truth is that I am the one with the Dentist problem; I haven’t been to the dentist since just before the first Precipice game. The experience was so traumatic that I decided to transform my mouth into a kind of reserve. It has a wild, untamed beauty. Occasionally my gums recede a bit, exposing the nerve. But this only makes me feel more alive.

The hostility and madness of a PC tech support forum recalls the iniquity of a prison asylum. Specifically, the one from The Silence Of The Lambs, where people are howling and trying to jack off on you, but there is something in that godless crevice you desperately require so you have to go into the very opposite of Heaven and prostrate yourself before the very opposite of God.

Part One of our rematch against the infernal, warlockin' sonsabitches at Bungie is now available. (CW)TB

Typically games based on the interplay of classes restrict your weapon choices, but this is something they chose not to do with Brink. Weapons are gated by your survivability and mobility, via one of the three Body Types.  This means that you can set up a huge Medic made of bricks who hauls around a minigun, and nobody can say boo about it. I thought this might help me invigorate my fallen allies; one could also use it to become an undying warbringer.

Here is everything else i needed to tell you today:

Gabriel and I will be attending a bachelor party so intense that I am told the B and the P should be capitalized. I am also told that its shape will differ radically from the norm, and I’m glad, because the model for events like this doesn’t exactly invigorate me.

LoadingReadyRun - Yes!  The Desert Bus people! - debut their new show on PATV today, a news digest vehicle they call Checkpoint.  

I can still mount a token resistance, usually, but the reality is that seeing movies is a way to sit in a dark room and eat sugar for two full hours somewhere that my tubercular larvae can’t penetrate.

Crisis averted! Hopefully.