Gabriel's D&D group has never endured a full Edition War. There was that Essentials thing, which didn't really touch them; even if one or two of their players might have preferred a "cleaner" system, nobody ever really knew what an Essential was. "Essentials" sounds suspiciously like less. And we are a people engineered to demand more.

First Place!

Occasionally, my health insurance will forget that they did at one point authorize an antidepressant, or they'll decide that I can have it, but that I can't have it every day for some reason. I will talk to a person on the phone about it, and what becomes clear almost immediately is that they are trying to make two numbers add up correctly and I am wondering... well, I don't want to say.

PAX East (or as I like to call it, PAX Easter) is coming up on April 6th through the 8th. We recognize that this falls on a holiday for some of you. The problem, is that we are at the mercy of the convention center when it comes to dates. Trust me when I tell you we didn’t pick Easter just to be jerks. However, even with PAX falling on such a holy day, we are still 90% sold out of 3 day badges! Sinners.

Battleship Galaxies is a tactical boardgame, and it features hexes, which grants it an unassailable seven out of ten points straight out of the box. Things can only go up from there, and for the most part they do. Tom Vasel has a good review here, one that has it right in my opinion, which is another way of saying that he agrees with me: It's good. But I'm ready for advanced rules. Or ships. Anything.

I’m a big Disney fan. I love the theme parks and the movies and all of it. On our recent trip to the Aulani resort I saw all the kids getting autographs from the various characters in their little Disney autograph books. I’ve always felt sort of like a mascot at PAX. I’m not responsible for running the event. I’m out on the floor meeting people and taking pictures and stuff. I am very much like Mickey Mouse at Disney land. Or maybe one of the Princesses. So I thought what if we had a Penny Arcade autograph book.

When you put it like that - pitting the accrual of illusory accomplishments against the nurture of a being you have produced - it seems pretty crass. I'm sure it seems especially crass to people whose homes aren't infested with these larvae, who may still luxuriate in the luminous ideal of parenting as opposed to its immutable truths, which invariably involve shit and vomit.

DAS RIGHT MOTHAFUCKAS

I was asked to run a D&D game on Christmas Eve for my wife and some friends. I decided to take the opportunity to try and give them an Christmas themed adventure. I kicked around a lot of ideas that mostly involved helping Santa. Then I thought of A Christmas Carol and it seemed ready made for a D&D adventure.

I don't want to frighten those in the readership who may be involved in broadcast television, but whenever I start watching a lot of TV what that tells me is that I need a new MMO.

Wow, that escalated quickly! There is even a humerous web video! Kotaku has an article that covers how this whole Ocean Marketing thing is winding down. It seems Ocean Marketing is “out of business” and Paul is no longer representing the Avenger. A new PR guy has been brought in to try and right their sinking ship. I think it’s fair to try and separate Paul’s actions from the actual product. It’s very possible that he was simply the marketing guy here but I’ve also heard that he is at least a part owner in N-control the company that makes the Avenger. I’ll be very curious see how this all shakes out.

We weren't entirely certain how long Semen "Week" could possibly last; we simply had two strips, two data points, which was enough to draw a line. But it's not like we're philosophically dedicated to the fluid. Plus, I have someone in my employ who is obligated to create literally any logo I tell him to. Like this one, let's say.

I just wanted to post an update with some of the stuff that has happened over on my end with regards to all this Ocean Marketing stuff.

I got an incredible email today from a Penny Arcade reader. Dave shared with me an email chain between him and Ocean Marketing (the folks behind the Avenger controller) Trust me when I tell you that this is one wild ride. I'm serious, Mr. Toad would look at this ride and just give a slow clap while shaking his head. I have tried to arrange this as best I can in chronological order. I've also removed email addresses and other private information. So let's just jump right in, here is Dave's first mail to Ocean Marketing:

It's the most wonderful time of the year! That's right, I'm talking about

This week, on a very special Penny Arcade TV...