Being old is weird, and I don't like it necessarily, but I'd still take it over being young. Both axis are laden with intractable bullshit, but in the latter half of your life people can at least recognize your fundamental humanity.

Well we’ve put another incredible PAX to bed. I’ve been asked to comment on a few of the stories that came out of the show this year. It seems that after three days of games, music and community what people people keep asking me about is the guy who took off his pants, and boobs. I’ll go ahead and give you my take on both of those but first I want to talk about the other story that is making the rounds. That being our trolling of Paul Christoforo.

PAX dreams are incredibly weird.  The one I just emerged from proposed that Achievements existed somewhere in the actual world, and they were like edible clocks.  I can't really put that one together, but it's alright; this is that organ's job, to contextualize life in a mythic way.  If previous shows are any indication, this process is just beginning.

It's true;  Gabriel has returned to the fold.  He actively prefers almost everything about the Windows Phone he had - it has the cohesion he feels is missing from Android, and the "active tiles" or whatever those things are on the start screen can reveal data without having to drill down every time, which the iPhone's app-centric user experience demands.  

The Precipice is so moist you guys it's crazy! It's treacherous for real - and there's a precipitous drop.

Shit is complex at Chez Gabriel, and in a rare twist, it isn't the direct result of his own malformed behavior. Star Wars Kinect, which was generally expected to be a bucket of mouth-temperature filth and may even be that, has its claws deep into his son.

Star Wars Kinect is a real shitfest. Unless you happen to be a seven year old.

Is it safe to come out? Have people stopped fucking around with everybody? Alright. Let's go.

I haven't been able to keep up with PATV because I've been writing... something, and when I have to write and write I sort of fall off the planet. Maybe we can both catch up.

We've had such terrible experiences in one way or another with so many iterations of EA's Tiger Woods franchise that they've probably scared me off permanently. I was one of the annual purchasers who felt the shock of their next-gen transition, the one that decimated the course roster, but choked it down; it wasn't until it became clear that their mechanism for multiplayer matching and gameplay simply didn't work that I gave up.

You may recall that, early in the beta period for Rise of Immortals, we said mean things about it and then made a comic about it which was also mean. But! Look what they just did!

Well I am hooked on the new new Tiger Woods. It's been quite a few years since I enjoyed a Tiger game and honestly I haven’t liked a golf game this much since the original Links 2004 on the first Xbox. This year’s “Total Swing Control” is awesome in my opinion and a huge improvement over the previous swing mechanics. Your shot is now 100% decided by the skill with which you swing the club. You can still apply some spin once you’re in the air but otherwise you will succeed or fail based on your manipulation of the left analog stick.

We both watched Life 2.0 at different times in the same week, more than a year past when we had meant to see it, because of time and its, like, inelasticity or whatever. I never got around to seeing this film just like I never got around to playing Second Life, the "game" its based on. These are only two examples of things I always meant to do, but did not; I could go on.

I was talking about how you could upgrade your original Polo a couple days ago, and said you should just cut out the logo from the front of the shirt as a proof of purchase. This was mainly because it seemed way cheaper than shipping us the whole shirt! But if you really want to send us the whole shirt, that's no problem; we will make sure it passes into a new stage of life with grace and dignity. This is actually something that will happen! We will really do that. It's not like when your dad tells you that your dog lives on a farm now or some shit when he's actually buried under the new driveway.

I picked up the New Tiger Woods today and I have to say I'm really impressed. I've only played a few rounds but I am really enjoying the changes to the swing mechanic this year. I have not tried the Kinect controls yet but I'll give that a try tonight and let you all know how it goes. Honestly though this is the first Tiger game in a few years that I can see myself investing some serious time into.

First Party has returned, and we're back with the 2.0 version of the polo. What does that mean?